The 3 rules parenting expert Dr. Becky has for her own kids’ screen time


“My kids don’t have ‘Dr. Becky’ as a parent. They have ‘Becky,’ who’s just trying to, you know, figure this out.”


Many parents rely on the recommendations of clinical psychologist and Instagram sensation Dr. Becky Kennedy. But how does this mom of three parent in her own home?

As part of Oprah Daily’s “The Life You Want” class, Oprah Winfrey sat down to talk about technology with Dr. Becky and Jonathan Haidt, author of “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.” In an exclusive clip shared with TODAY.com in advance of the release on May 1, Kennedy discussed rules for screen time that she uses with her own kids.

"I think it's a struggle for everyone. For me, too," Kennedy admitted. "My kids don't have 'Dr. Becky' as a parent. They have 'Becky,' who's just trying to, you know, figure this out."

"I bet 'Dr. Becky' comes through sometimes, though," Winfrey joked.

"She's definitely there sometimes ... a percentage, and that's the most I'd want it," Kennedy conceded before sharing her top three rules.

Use parental controls

With her own kids, Kennedy said, "I try to infuse parental controls in any screen device they have."

Some kids are able to set up their devices as an "adult," gaining access to virtually anything online. If they do, "then we've lost our ability to have any sense of what's happening there."

Set clear expectations and boundaries

Before they reach for their devices, she tells her kids how much time they have online and what they are — or are not — allowed to do.

Kennedy also has some nuances for screen time in her house. She doesn’t allow screen time for her younger kids after 6 p.m. because “it affects their sleep.” One of her biggest rules is that there are to be no devices in their bedrooms for any reason.

Prepare yourself for your kids' reactions

Kennedy's last rule of screen time isn't for her kids ... it's for her.

"I know my kids are going to protest at the end, and I prepare myself to tolerate it," she said. She joked that when screen time ends, her kids don't say, "Thank you. I understand. You're the best."

Instead, she has to steel herself for the discomfort of holding the boundary, which helps them learn to expect the boundary.

For years, Haidt has been researching our switch from a play-based childhood to a phone-based childhood. After extensive research, Haidt, who calls smartphones "experience blockers," has suggested four new norms:

Both Haidt and Kennedy want to help parents use technology to enhance children's development in the world rather than crippling it.

Written by Rosie Colosi and published in TODAY